


Deck The Hall Of Doom With Boughs Of Holly

by enchantment



Category: Justice League of America, Legion of Doom, Superfriends
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2804810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantment/pseuds/enchantment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's that time of year again and the Legion of Doom is having their annual Christmas party.  The gifts are cheerfully handed out but they all end up being ones that each member would like to return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deck The Hall Of Doom With Boughs Of Holly

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to my daughter, Jenna, who asked for a Legion of Doom Christmas party story when wondering what kind of presents they would receive and for watching countless hours of Superfriends cartoons with me. And a special thank you to Hanna-Barbera for making my childhood so much more fun. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to DC Comics, Hanna- Barbera, The Challenge of the Superfriends or the Legion of Doom.

"Ho, ho, ho!" shouts Solomon Grundy as he enters the room via Brainiac's flying chair. Dressed as Santa Claus, he quickly hands out everyone's gifts ending with Black Manta and Sinestro. "Ho, ho, ho! Christmas has begun!" He towers over the last two villains as he gruffly orders, "Open them!"

Wasting no time, the two men rapidly tear off the wrapping and peer inside their gift boxes. "Towels," grumbles Black Manta while Sinestro observes, "And jewelry cleaner." They glance at each other before sharing a frustrated sigh and bitterly muttering, "Again."

Lex looks over to Cheetah's unopened present. "Aren't you eager to see what you received this year, Cheetah? Perhaps it's a flea collar!"

The feline villainess merely smiles serenely while patiently waiting for him to finish laughing at his own joke. "What, no _catty_ remark?" he inquires with a hint of surprise.

"What can I say, Luthor?" purrs Cheetah benignly. "It must be the spirit of the holiday." She gives him an appraising once-over. "By the way, I've been meaning to tell you how handsome you look tonight." His only reply is a smug smile which immediately falls away at her next remark. "I love what you've done with your hair." Then she laughs in malicious delight as she walks off to join Giganta while leaving a fuming Lex behind in her wake.

"Did you see what Toyman has done?" questions Giganta irritably while staring up at the ceiling.

Cheetah grimaces at the mistletoe hanging above their heads before scanning the room's occupants. "I don't know about you, but I happen to find this particular breed of natural selection highly unnatural. In fact, if I had to choose a partner for under the mistletoe, I'd have to say that the android has the best chance."

Giganta stares up at the mistletoe considerably. "I could always enlarge myself and remove it."

Cheetah raises her hand and clicks her claws together. "That won't be necessary, Giganta, I'd prefer to do the honors myself."

Across the room, Captain Cold is inspecting the buffet when he finds the punch to be a trifle too warm for his liking and the ice cream beginning to melt. Crouching down, he takes out his freeze ray and delivers a few blasts until a light layer of ice is sticking to the underside of the table. He stands back up with a satisfied smile while noting, "I bet they're glad that they put me in charge of refreshments this year."

A loud clanging sound draws his attention to where Black Manta is futilely trying to evade Sinestro's most recent prank. "Stop doing that!" demands Black Manta as he bats the drumsticks conjured from Sinestro's ring away from his helmet.

"Why, Black Manta, whatever is the matter?" asks Sinestro in an overly sweet tone as he continues to torment his fellow member. "I thought that everyone loved The Little Drummer Boy."

The Scarecrow shakes his head in dismay at Sinestro's antics while Toyman howls with glee. Without warning, the devious trickster turns to the Scarecrow and slaps him hard across the back. "So what did you think of your gift?" questions Toyman excitedly.

Scarecrow removes a glass paperweight from his pocket that's in the shape of a brain. "It's _wizard_ ," he declares in a dry tone.

"I'm so glad that you like it!" cries Toyman with an ecstatic chuckle. "Especially, since I went to all of the trouble of going down under to buy it in _Oz_!"

Unable to withstand another moment of the Toyman's incessant laughter, the Scarecrow berates, "You fool, I didn't like it!" He throws the paper weight at Toyman's head and wears a large grin when it promptly renders Toyman unconscious. "I love it."

Deciding to toast his good fortune, Scarecrow heads over to the refreshments where he discovers the Riddler shivering after having taken a sip of the punch. "I see that our good friend the Captain has chilled the refreshments for us."

"A bit too much if you ask me," complains the Riddler as he glares at the sheen of frost clinging to the side of the bowl. He takes a quick peek around him before leaning close to Scarecrow and suggesting, "Why don't we warm it up a bit?"

Scarecrow shakes his head negatively. "We couldn't do that." Then repeating the Riddler's earlier surveillance of the partygoers whereabouts, he whispers conspriringly, "Could we?"

Riddler nudges him in the side with his elbow. "Come on Scarecrow, what are you so _afraid_ of?"

Scarecrow gives a shrug of acceptance and removes the flask from his pocket which he hurriedly opens and pours into the bowl while the Riddler keeps watch. "Now the libations will truly pack a punch," he murmurs with a chuckle.

The Scarecrow barely has enough time to return his flask to his pocket when he and the Riddler are unceremoniously shoved aside by Giganta and Gorilla Grodd. "Move aside," growls Grodd as he proceeds to pour punch for himself and Giganta and then escorts her to her seat.

"What do you think Scarecrow and Riddler are laughing about?" inquires Giganta curiously.

"Who cares?" responds Grodd in a bored tone. "What did you receive for your gift this year?"

"A pair of stilts and another expandable short skirt," she answers in a dispassionate voice as if expecting nothing less. "What did you receive?"

Grodd grunts in disgust. "A day pass to the local zoo." They share a commiserating glance before Giganta declares, "I hate it when it's Toyman's turn to select everyone's gifts."

Nodding in agreement, Grodd clinks his glass of punch against Giganta's own while murmuring, "Hear, hear."

Several feet away Lex watches their private toast, his eyes filled with suspicion. "Bizarro, come here!" he barks to the nearby duplicate. Once Bizarro is by his side, he orders, "I want you to keep an eye on Giganta and Grodd. The last thing we need is little Gleeks running around here!"

"Hnh!" grunts Bizarro in agreement. "You no have to worry, Luthor. With Bizarro around, me make sure there no monkey business! Ha…ha, ha…ha, ha!"

Waiting for Bizarro's stilted laughter to die down, Lex's gaze travels aimlessly around the room until it lands on what he perceives to be more trouble. _I wonder what's wrong with Toyman._

Over at the buffet, Toyman is busily digging through the salad bowl and removing leaves before glowering up at the ceiling. "Hey, who took down my mistletoe?"

An answer arrives in the form of a feminine purr from Cheetah in his ear. "Sorry, Toyman, but a salad was the **only** use that mistletoe was going to see this evening."

Releasing a wistful sigh as Cheetah strolls away with a soft chuckle, he watches the Riddler stumble drunkenly over to the communications console and attempt to contact the Hall of Justice. _Well at least one of us is having some fun._

After a few mishaps with some dials and switches, the Riddler is finally able to reach the Superfriends as the Wonder Twins answer his call. "Hey, Mary-Kate and Ashley, Happy Holidays!"

Jayna issues a disgusted sigh before calling out, "Batman, it's for you."

Batman's image soon replaces that of the twins and perturbed at their own party's interruption, he irritably asks, "What do you want, Riddler?"

"Riddle me this, Caped Crusader!" returns the Riddler with a slight wobble to his voice. "What letter of the alphabet is dark and broody, always moody and follows with a denial of N-O?"

Batman merely remains silent as he stares at the drunken villain in disbelief. "Give up?" taunts the Riddler. "It's Goth-M!"

Batman's only response is to roll his eyes in exasperation while the Riddler's hysterical laughter causes Superman's sudden appearance to go unnoticed. "What's going on here, Batman?" quizzes Superman.

Batman shakes his head in bewilderment. "I wish I knew, Superman." He turns his attention back to the Riddler. "However, I am sure that it's nothing that a cup of coffee wouldn't cure."

Completely unfazed by Batman's comment, the Riddler's face quickly lights up at Superman's presence. "Well, if it isn't the Man of Steel. Riddle me this, Superman! What wants to bark in the dark? Krypto-Night!"

Not sharing Batman's patience, Superman shouts, "Luthor!" at the viewscreen in such a booming tone that the Legion's leader promptly steps into view. "Luthor, what is the meaning of this?"

Lex takes one glance at the Riddler's inebriated form and instantly grasps the situation. "Don't get your cape in a twist, Superman, he's just letting off some steam!" And then with the push of a button, he severs the connection.

" **Grundy!"** snaps Lex as he directs the Riddler to the swamp man with a hard shove. "Sober him up!" Grundy consents with a grunt and the next thing that Lex knows as he turns away is hearing a hard smack followed by an **"Ow!"** from the Riddler. "You imbecile, I meant with a cup of coffee!"

"Luthor needs to explain better," grumbles Solomon as he picks up the Riddler and drops him down into a chair. "Now, sit and open your present!"

Glaring up at the indomitable force of Solomon Grundy, the Riddler swiftly realizes the folly of an immediate escape and decides that following orders is definitely the safer option. Opening the gift that Grundy thrusts roughly into his hands, what exists of the Riddler's mild anticipation rapidly deflates upon viewing the item.

Very slowly, a balloon floats out of the box with the following words written on it:

_You're such an expert at puzzles that I thought that I would give you a pop quiz!_

And then the balloon proceeds to pop revealing the Riddler's true prize.

"A Rubik's Cube?" he moans disparingly. "That's so old school." A few dozen twists and the cube is solved but as the Riddler tries to set it down, he finds that it has become stuck to his hands. "Blast it, Toyman! You and your stupid superglue!"

Rising to his feet in frustration, the Riddler raises his hands in the air to slam the cube against the table when he catches the watchful and warning gaze of Solomon Grundy. Sitting back down, he exhibits a sulky frown when Grundy presents him with a cup of coffee. "How am I supposed to drink this?"

"That your problem," states Grundy firmly before walking away to enjoy the rest of the party.

"And keeping track of me is yours," murmurs the Riddler with a sly grin as he slinks away past Black Manta.

"No, I'm not on speaker phone, I always sound like this!" shouts Black Manta into his cell phone while he strides towards Captain Cold and Cheetah. He disconnects the call and inquires, "So, what are you two discussing?"

Captain Cold accepts a glass of punch from one of the mechanical toy soldiers that are carrying trays of refreshments around the room. "I'm trying to convince Cheetah how great it would be to have a Halloween party next year."

Cheetah casts her gaze around the room and takes special note of Sinestro, Brainiac and Grundy. "We already have the typical alien, robot and embodiment of the living dead and wear costumes every day." She arches an inquisitive eyebrow in their direction. "So what would be the point?"

Black Manta bobs his head in acknowledgment as he notices the cd tucked under Captain Cold's belt. "Coldplay, again?"

"Yes," he notes with resignation, "typical." He suddenly offers a wry grin. "Still, it's better than that Vanilla Ice single that I received for my birthday."

"And what did you receive, Cheetah?" queries Black Manta.

"The worst present of all!" she seethes in anger as she shows them her card.

_To someone who's beautiful, clever and extremely agile,_

_Here's my phone number._

_XOXO, Toyman_

Captain Cold rereads the card before handing it back. "Bad form, bad taste…yeah, that's definitely Toyman's handiwork." He raises his glass to her and toasts, "My condolences."

At a nearby table, Bizarro and Grundy share what they each received for Christmas. Grundy scrutinizes the bottle in his hand as he reads over the front and back. "Suntan oil. And who is SPF? Grundy's initials are SG." He looks around the table for Bizarro's present. "What in your gift, Bizarro?"

Bizarro smiles proudly as he announces, "Me no receive gift. Me wrote letter to Santa Claus telling him how naughty I am. And look what Santa left in stocking!" He triumphantly pours his stocking out onto the table to reveal that it's full of coal.

Grundy's brows draw together in confusion. "What good is coal?"

Bizarro's expression is smug as he explains, "Coal am what am used for money on Bizarro World. With this much coal, Bizarro be the richest Bizarro of them all!"

Standing at the podium, Brainiac and Lex watch Bizarro and Grundy's discussion with passing curiosity. Brainiac comments, "I often wonder what those two find to talk about, it is obviously not Shakespeare."

"Judging by the stocking that Bizarro keeps waving around, I assume that his plan worked thanks to Toyman's twisted sense of humor," he replies in an irritated tone.

Brainiac turns to him inquisitively. "What do you mean?"

Lex relates Bizarro's plan much to the android's astonishment. "I don't know what disturbs me more, that it was the most idiotic plan that I've ever heard of or that he actually succeeded!"

"I wouldn't worry about it, Luthor," declares the Android. "Not if the old Earth adage, 'A fool and his money are soon parted', is true."

The Riddler chuckles softly while he passes the two geniuses and makes his way to the twenty foot Christmas tree that Giganta literally picked for them. Using it as cover from Grundy, he is completely unaware of Sinestro floating high above him while he reenergizes a string of Christmas lights with his ring.

A sinister smile appears on the Qwardian's face as he aims his ring at the floor and creates a pool of yellow liquid. "Piddle me this, Riddler."

At that moment, Gorilla Grodd strolls up to procure one of the banana flavored candy canes hanging from the tree when he notices the Riddler and the small yellow pool below him. "Riddler, that is disgusting! Leave it to a human to treat a symbol of festivity as a common outhouse. I believe that it is time that you went to bed!"

A bewildered Riddler glances down at the floor before doing a doubletake in shock. "What?" He looks back up and calls out to a retreating Grodd. "No, wait, come back! That wasn't me, I swear it!" Grodd turns back briefly to dismiss Riddler with an expression of pure revulsion. "No, seriously," he pleads to deaf ears, "I'm not that drunk!"

Sinestro hums merrily to himself while he mops up his creation and soon finds himself barely able to keep from falling out of the air with laughter when Gorilla Grodd's efforts to evade the Riddler's ramblings lead them straight to Solomon Grundy.

"Ha!" laughs Lex in amusement as he watches the proceedings from afar. "It serves him right!" He glances at Brainiac's disgruntled countenance and questions, "What's bothering you?"

"I just opened my present," denotes the android in a mechanical yet sour tone. "Here, take a look for yourself," he instructs as he flips the lid open.

"Rechargable batteries," remarks Lex with a sardonic twist of his mouth. "It's obviously Toyman's idea of a joke and a poor one at that." He sighs wearily and begins to remove the card from the envelope that Toyman gave him. "Let's see what he's left for me."

_To our esteemed leader,_

_You scheme so hard and yet there are no plots that you seem able to fulfill, so here is my gift to you._

_With this plot, you can't miss!_

Lex's gaze slides over the card until he angrily crumples it up in his hand. "I take it that the gift was not to your liking?" remarks Brainiac as he removes a drink off of one of the toy soldiers passing by and hands it to Lex. "What is it?"

"It's a reservation for a cemetery plot!" he answers furiously while aiming a deadly glare in Toyman's direction. "That does it! Captain Cold, come over here, **now!"**

"It appears that Toyman has unwittingly chosen his own gift when he chose yours," observes Brainiac with cold detachment as Lex struggles to control his temper long enough to issue instructions to Captain Cold. "It is times like these that I wish that I had the emotions to appreciate the irony of this situation."

Ignoring the flash of whimsy from the mechanical man, Lex shouts out his announcement to the entire room. "Everybody, gather around! It's time for my speech and then afterwards," he notes with a devilish gleam in his eyes, "we'll give Toyman what's coming to him." Lex watches as Captain Cold makes a quiet exit and picks up where he left off. "Here we all are again, celebrating another year of successfully evading capture from the Superfriends!" A round of applause greets this decree. "However, it also represents another year of absolute failure! Failure at becoming the rightful rulers of Earth, failure at growing richer than our wildest dreams and most importantly, eliminating those who stand against us!" Dismal groans and huffs of anger are the only responses to Lex's annoyingly accurate observation. "Yes, I know," he acknowledges with his own regretful sigh, "it's been one miserable defeat after another at the hands of our enemies. But that's all over now!" he assures them encouragingly. "Thanks to the brilliant, cunning and savvy determination and extraordinary genius and direction of your fearless leader..."

"He forgot to mention humble," mumbles Giganta in an aside to a nodding Grodd.

The unheard comment goes by without further mention as Lex continues, "I have conceived of the ultimate plan to rid ourselves of the Superfriends once and for all! And so, thanks to **me** , we can all look forward to a prosperous and enterprising new year of vast wealth, unhindered freedom and the final destruction of the Superfriends!" he ends vehemently with a shake of his fist in the air.

Cheers and applause are the immediate reply to this final declaration, their response so filled with fervor and excitement that it takes awhile for everyone to calm down and gather around Toyman.

"Well, it looks like it's that time again," declares Lex with a passing glance at Captain Cold as he reenters the room before focusing his gaze on Toyman. "It's time for everyone to present you with a token of our appreciation for all the effort that you've put into this party." He nods towards Captain Cold who hands over the gift to Toyman who is frantically clapping his hands in delight. "On behalf of **every** Legion member, I can honestly say that we all agree that you truly deserve this."

"Why, thank you, everyone," chirps Toyman while eagerly ripping the bow off of the top of the box, "and might I say that I couldn't agree with you more!"

Popping the lid off, Toyman only has a moment to take in his gift before absorbing the full effect as a large fist carved out of ice belts Toyman right on the jaw. Captain Cold drops an ice pack onto the fallen villain's face as he quips, "I guess you could say that we cold-cocked him."

Laughter rings out from all around the group and Lex directs Grundy to lay Toyman on top of an empty table along with an envelope containing a gift certificate to the local toy shop across his chest. Lex raises his glass and toasts, "Merry Christmas, everyone, and Happy New Year!" He sips his punch before sputtering and angrily demanding to no one in particular, "And who has been spiking this punch?!"

**THE END**


End file.
